From studio apartments to mansions, we'll move all your 💩 with the precision of a brain surgeon and the care of a mother hen.
No judgment, no questions asked. We've seen it all and moved it all.
Couches, beds, tables, and that weird chair your uncle gave you that you're too polite to throw away. We have a special technique for moving recliners - we call it the "wheelbarrow method" because that's basically what it looks like.
TVs, computers, and that VCR you've been holding onto since 1998. We won't judge. We'll just silently wonder why you still have a VCR and then charge you extra for moving it because it's technically an antique now.
Beanie Babies, Funko Pops, or your extensive collection of garden gnomes. We treat them all like priceless artifacts. We have a special "collection tax" for people who own more than 50 of the same thing. It's not a real tax, we just think it's funny.
Grandma's vase, your kid's finger paintings, and that "art" you bought at a garage sale. We have a special "fragile" sticker that we put on everything, even if it's not fragile. It's like a good luck charm, except it doesn't actually work.
That treadmill you bought during lockdown that's now a very expensive clothes rack. We call these "aspirational purchases" because they represent the person you wanted to be, not the person you actually are. We've moved so many unused treadmills, we could open a gym.
Your entire library of books you'll "read someday" and DVDs you haven't watched since 2010. We have a theory that people buy books to look smart, not to read them. We've moved enough unread books to build a library. A very dusty library.
We've perfected the art of moving your stuff over 15 years of trial and error (mostly error).
We come to your house and pretend to be impressed by how much 💩 you have. We've seen it all - from minimalist apartments to hoarder houses. We judge silently, but we judge.
We wrap your stuff in bubble wrap and pray to the moving gods that nothing breaks. We have a special ritual where we knock on wood three times and cross our fingers. It works about 60% of the time, which is better than nothing.
We drive your 💩 to the new place while listening to our carefully curated moving playlist. It's mostly 80s rock and country music that our drivers love. We've tried to change it, but they threaten to quit, so we let them have their music.
We unload everything and help you figure out where to put all your 💩 in the new place. We're not interior designers, but we'll give you our opinion anyway. It's usually "that looks terrible" but we say it nicely.
We believe in honest pricing. What you see is what you pay, plus a small fee for moving your weird stuff.
Real reviews from real people who trusted us with their house 💩
"These guys moved my entire collection of 500 garden gnomes without breaking a single one. They even arranged them in my new yard exactly like I had them before! Well, most of them. A few got lost, but they were probably ugly anyway."
- Harold G., Gnome Enthusiast
"I had a whole room dedicated to my Beanie Baby collection. They moved every single one with care and even helped me organize them in my new place. Except for the rare ones. Those mysteriously disappeared."
- Sarah T., Beanie Baby Collector
Get a free quote today and let us handle all your residential moving needs